Kagome's Struggles
by fluffyfanficsuwu
Summary: InuYasha finally admits to himself that he loves Kagome but he can't tell her, leaving Kagome to believe he has chosen Kikyo. InuYasha goes into the clearing to say goodbye to Kikyo but Kagome doesn't realize that he is saying farewell and attempts to kill herself. The only option left for InuYasha is to ask his brother for help to bring his love back.


**I don't own InuYasha- if I did there would be all InuKag and no Kikyo. If you like Kikyo… F'n leave this story at once. And I do not by ANY MEANS support suicide or cutting.**

 **-NEUTRAL POV-**

Things have been really hard for Kagome who has assumed that the love of her life has chosen another woman. Kikyo. Kagome wants to resent her for taking InuYasha's love from her but instead she blames herself. She blames herself for not being good enough. She blames herself for not being loveable. She eventually starts cutting… It helps to ease her pain. She is surprised, but relieved, that no one has figured her out yet. She puts up such a good fake smile that they all believe it. Every last one of them.

Kagome is wrong though. InuYasha has been in love with Kagome and finally admitted it to himself about a month ago. But he couldn't tell her. He was never good at that. I mean, after all, who could love a filthy hanyou? But InuYasha is also wrong. Kikyo only wanted to be with him if he became human, but… Kagome never wanted him to change. Kagome loves him… But she is afraid that her love will be unrequited because she has blinded herself into only seeing those feelings he once had for Kikyo. Those feelings that no longer exist. InuYasha only feels remorse that he couldn't protect her but Kagome is the one he loves.

InuYasha, Kagome, Shippo, Sango, and Miroku walked for quite awhile and finally took a break at nightfall.

'Perfect. It's nightfall. I can take a bath and… get rid of some pain forming in my head' Kagome thinks and smiles.

"I'm going to take a bath!" Kagome announces cheerily.

"I'll come with you!" Sango says, starting to get up.

"No!" Kagome cries out, "I-It's nothing to do with you Sango it's just… I want some privacy right now…"

"Oh… Okay" she settles back down.

Kagome heads off to the springs with a towel with a razor blade hidden underneath it.

"That was kind of suspicious… You girls always go to the springs together…" Miroku comments.

"I hope she's okay…" Sango replies with concern.

"Feh. Just go to sleep. I'll wait for her to come back" Inuyasha rolls his eyes as the two nod and go to sleep next to the already sleeping Shippo.

Inuyasha climbs up a tree and watches the night sky as he waits for Kagome, his true love, to return.

-At the springs-

Kagome makes a small cut on her wrist and watches as the crimson blood flowed out of the tiny wound. She applies pressure to it as she tries to stop the flowing blood before the scent can be picked up. She sighs with relief and sits back into the hot springs, letting the warm water take her thoughts before they could overcome her. The pain has subsided… At least for now.

-Back with InuYasha-

InuYasha wants to make a move. He can't lead on Kikyo though so he decides that the first step is to talk to Kikyo. Just as he is thinking about it, Kikyo's soul collectors whirled their way through the sky. 'Now's my chance!' he thought as he followed them to where the dead priestess was now awaiting him. He stepped into the clearing and there she was. Kikyo. His former love… But not his true love. That is Kagome. He needs to say goodbye to his past love though it will be hard, but he loves Kagome more than anything.

"Kikyo…" InuYasha says.

-With Kagome-

She is sure of what she saw. Kikyo's soul collectors are here. SHE'S here… And InuYasha is probably with her. She knows she probably shouldn't go… But her legs carry her in that direction anyway. She safely hides behind a tree and watches the scene.

InuYasha walks over to the powerful miko whom he once loved. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead, as he will be letting her go and that is the last time he will ever do that for the woman now made of clay. Kagome can't watch anymore and runs, not bothering to watch what happens after.

She runs and runs and soon she has two options: 1. Go home or 2. End it all. And she quickly decides that the second option is very appealing. She goes back to her friends and quickly writes them all notes about why she is doing what she is doing while silent tears fall down her face. InuYasha's is the longest and she even wrote how she feels about him on it. She takes his note with her, knowing that he will eventually pick up on the smell of her blood.

She runs to the cliff and leaves note at the top, fearing that it will become soaked in blood. 'He should at least know how I felt since I will never see him again' she thought. She steps towards the edge. "I love you InuYasha" she whispers as she steps over the edge.

-With InuYasha-

"Kikyo, do you understand?" InuYasha asks.

"You love my reincarnation" she expresses no emotion.

"I love her more than I have ever loved anyone" he states.

"So be it. Just realize that that strange girl won't be able to make you happy like I could have" she states and turns and begins to walk away.

"I'm sorry Kikyo, but you're wrong" he says but she continues walking away at the same pace, not bothering to look back at him.

InuYasha begins to head back to the campsite when the smell of blood hits his nose. The smell is putrid and it almost makes him gag… The scent. He recognizes it. 'NO. IT CAN'T BE' he told himself as he races toward the cliff where the smell was coming from. At the top was a carefully folded piece of white paper with his name on it. Picking it up, trembling, he begins to read it.

Note:

Dear InuYasha,

I have quite a lot of things to say but I'm going to try to minimalize it for you- your note is still the longest out of all of the notes I gave to the group. I'm not really sure if you'll mind what happened to me too much- I mean, of course, I was your jewel shard detector but you can always have Kikyo do that. Speaking of her… I saw you in the clearing today hugging her and kissing her forehead… And I realized that there is absolutely no room for me in your life. I don't have a point and there is so much suffering that can be stopped by me doing this. I didn't want to make you feel like you had to decide between us- that would be cruel! Though I can tell who you chose without the decision. You are so incredible InuYasha and I thought that from the first moment I met you (though you were still in your fifty year slumber) and touched your ears- though you can be a pain in the butt at times. You don't have to change yourself though, InuYasha. You're perfect just the way you are and you don't need to become a full demon OR a human to be better. I like you just the way you are- Actually… That's the next thing I should probably say. InuYasha… I… I love you. I have loved you for quite some time even though I knew you didn't love me back. But I stayed by your side. Even in death I wish to stay by your side. I want you to be happy, InuYasha. Please be happy with Kikyo InuYasha… That's my final request.

Love, Kagome

Tears fell down InuYasha's face as he dropped the note onto the ground and leapt off the cliff to find the dead body of the woman he loves. He saw her as soon as he reached the bottom. Seeing her bloodied and bruised face makes him weak in the knees as he falls over and cried into her chest.

"WHY KAGOME?! I LOVE YOU AND I WILL NOT LET YOU DIE ON ME" he sobs and picks her up.

Running faster than he ever has before he finds the one person who can help him. One of the people he thought he would never go to for help. One of the people that he can't _stand_. Sesshomaru.

"SESSHOMARU!" InuYasha yells, laying Kagome's dead body in front of him.

"Little brother, why have you come here" he asks, casually glancing down at the body before him.

"Please… I need your help… Just this once Sesshomaru… Please bring her back to me… I'll do anything" the half demon begs.

"Why should I help you?" his youkai brother questions.

"I love her Sesshomaru. I love her so much. You did it to Rin didn't you? Can you please save my Kagome?" he sobs over her once again. Sesshomaru thinks for a few seconds.

"Move aside" he says, taking out the tenseiga and slashing Kagome. She begins to glow as her sacred aura returned and her breathing restarted, her wounds all healed.

"Thank you Sesshomaru, I owe you" InuYasha says, bowing his head.

Sesshomaru only stared at him for a few seconds and walked away, towards where Rin and Jaken are hunting for food.

Kagome raises her hand to her head and mutters, "Ow."

InuYasha lets out a sob of relief and tears were still being shed as he smiled and murmured, "K-Kagome."

"What happened? Why are you…" she starts to say but remembers exactly what she did.

"How am I still here? Why aren't you with Kikyo?" Kagome questions.

"Stupid wench. I was telling Kikyo goodbye in the clearing! I did it because…. Because… I love you god damn it!" he clenches his teeth.

"Me?" she repeats, surprised.

"Yes you! I- I didn't know how to tell you and I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way… I thought nobody could love a half demon, could love me and then you went and tried to kill yourself because of me. It's all my fault and-" he rambles before she presses her finger against his lips.

He looks up at her and she gently presses her lips to his. He is startled at first but eventually he wraps his arms around her, holding her tight as he kisses her, afraid that letting go meant never seeing her again. She pulls away, panting from the intense kiss they just shared. Her hands had ended up in his hair and when she was pulling away, he noticed her scars peeking from her sleeve. He gently takes her hand and moves her sleeve up and she stared at him wide eyed.

"Kagome…" he starts to say but couldn't find words.

"I'm fine InuYasha. I'm fine now, I swear. Now please… hold me for a little longer" she says.

"I was never planning on letting you go again" Inuyasha pulls her closer and murmurs into her hair.

Kagome smiled. And for the first time in a couple months, the smile is a real and genuine smile.

When Kagome and InuYasha return to the campsite, holding hands and smiling they returned to see their group in tears. Sango was holding her knees tightly to her chest as she sobbed and Miroku held her and for once didn't grope her. Shippo was next to them and was sobbing uncontrollably. Kagome had completely forgotten that they didn't know she was alive and happier than she has even been.

"Hey… guys" she says awkwardly and she gives them an awkward smile, gently holding onto InuYasha's arm.

They all looked at her, shocked. "KAGOME!" they all shouted, Sango and Shippo running over to hug her.

"I'm sorry for making you all worry but I'm fine now! Actually… I'm better than ever!" Kagome says giving a warm, smiling glance at Inuyasha. He returns the smile lovingly.

Sango removes Shippo from Kagome and she steps back to observe the miko.

"How…?" she asks and Kagome immediately knows what she is talking about.

"According to Inuyasha, Sesshomaru saved me" she states.

"Sesshomaru? That's so strange… but I'm glad you're okay" Sango replies.

"Now that this is over… I think me and InuYasha need some rest… It's been a long night" Kagome suggests.

The group nods and decides not to question as the miko gets into her sleeping bag and the hanyou follows, wrapping his arms around her as they both fall asleep in each other's arms. Their love will last an eternity and they would love them and only them forever. They are not letting go of eachother. They never will again.


End file.
